With less than an hour to go before my seven-year-old daughter’s bedtime, my home was a long way from being the oasis of calm I was hoping for at that time of evening.
Instead Lily had just scribbled all over her homework worksheet, thrown her pencil on the floor and was now yelling at the top of her voice: ‘I hate Math. I suck at it.’
With my younger daughter to put to bed, Lily in a melt-down and me exhausted after a day at work, the tension was rapidly rising.
But even if I could calm ourselves down, there was no end in sight. Even if I could persuade her to finish her math homework, Lily still had the whole book reading to do.
So I was facing two choices –
Should I stand over her and insist that not doing homework was NOT an option?
Or, should I tell her to put the books away, write a note to her teacher and just let her unwind and play in the lead-up to bedtime?
Have you been there? What choice would you make?
The choice I would make now is very different to what my choice would have been a few years back.
Back then, I’d try to push through with a mixture of cajoling and prompting and assurances that she did know how to do her Math really.
If that didn’t work then maybe in despair and frustration that she didn’t seem to want to try, I would have got angry and tried to explain how serious I was about this.
A Game of One-Upmanship
Like every parent, I had started out assuming I was simply doing the very best for my child by making sure her work was as good as it could be.
After all, what choice did I have? From the very early days in the private nursery she attended, I found myself surrounded by lots of other mothers locked into the same race to make their children the brightest and the best.
As Lily got older, I came to learn how insidiously contagious pushy parenting is.
If one of the mothers spotted another a parent with a Kumon Math folder, we all rushed to sign up too – for fear our children would get left behind.
Neurosis underpinned every conversation at the school gates – particularly as all of us were aiming to get our children into a small handful of selective private schools in the area.
Bit by bit, the parenting journey which had started off being so exciting and rewarding, was turning into a stressful game of one-upmanship.
But children are not products to be developed and put on show to reflect well on us.
Depending on what happens on the night, every child is conceived with a unique combination of genes which also maps out their strengths, weaknesses and personality traits before they are even born.
Lily may have been bred into a competitive hotbed. But as an innately modest and sensitive child, she decided she did not want to play.
The alarm bells started ringing in Grade Three when, after I personally made sure she turned in the best Space project, she won the prize. While I applauded uproariously from the sidelines, Lily, then seven, fled the room in tears and refused to accept the book token from the Head.
When she calmed down, she explained she hated us making a fuss. But what is just as likely is that she disliked the fact that her successes had become as much ours as hers. Even at that young age, no doubt she also realized that the more she succeeded, the more pressure she would be under to keep it up.
Over the next few years, the issues only deepened.
The Problem of Not Doing Homework
Slowly, Lily started to find excuses for not doing homework. Our home started to become a battlefield. She would barely open her books before yelling: “I’m stuck” –when really she was just terrified of getting it wrong.
The increasing amounts of homework sent home by the school gradually turned our house into a war zone – with me as the drill sergeant.
Homework is one of the most common flash points between kids and parents – the crossroads at which academic endeavors meet parental expectations at close quarters – and behind closed doors.
Surveys have found that homework is the single biggest source of friction between children and parents. One survey found that forty per cent of kids say they have cried during rows over it. Even that figure seems like a dramatic underestimate.
Yet more and more, it is recognized that homework undermines family time and eats into hours that should be spent on play or leisure.
A straightforward piece of work that would take a child twenty minutes at school can easily take four times as long at home with all the distractions and delaying tactics that go with it.
As a result, children get less sleep, go to bed later and feel more stressed.
Homework has even started to take over the summer vacations.
Once the long break was seen as a chance for children to have adventures, discover themselves and explore nature. Now the summer months are viewed as an extension of the academic year – a chance for kids to catch up… or get ahead with workbooks and tutoring.
But ultimately homework abides by the law of diminishing returns.
Researchers at Duke University found that after a maximum of two hours of homework, any learning benefits rapidly start to drop off for high school students.
While some children will do everything to avoid doing it, at the other extreme others will become perfectionists who have to be persuaded to go to bed. Some moms I spoke to had to bribe their children to do less!
Given the cloud of anxiety hovering over them, no wonder some of these children perceive education as stressful.
Pushed to the Brink
Perhaps fewer parents would go down the path of high performance parenting if they realized how much resentment it creates in their children. The irony is that all this obsession with pushing our kids towards success, pushes away the very people we are trying to help.
While all of us would say we love our children no matter what, unfortunately that’s not the message our kids hear. Instead, children become angry when they feel we are turning them into passive projects. Rather than feel like they are disappointing us, they disconnect. Early signs may be they become uncommunicative after school, stop looking parents in the eye, secretive or avoidant.
But we need to remember that unhappy stressed kids don’t learn.
Over the next few years, Lily’s insistence on not doing homework kept getting worse. To try and get to the bottom of it, my husband Anthony and I took her to see educational psychologist who found strong cognitive scores and no signs of learning difficulties.
But what the report did identify was how profoundly Lily’s self-worth had been affected. Even though I had never once told her she should be top of the class, she still felt she had to be good at everything. If she couldn’t be, she didn’t think there was any point trying at all.
It was clear despite our best efforts to support her, Lily constantly felt criticized. She was becoming defensive and resentful.
Most serious of all, by claiming she couldn’t do her homework – when she could – she was testing if my love for her was conditional on her success.
I had to face up to the painful truth that unless I took immediate action – and killed off my inner Tiger Mom – my child and I were growing apart.
So for the sake of my daughter, I realized I had to change direction and take my foot off the gas.
When her tutor rang to tell me Lily needed a break, I was delighted to agree. Since then, I have let her focus on the subjects that really matter to her – art and music – and have let her decide what direction to take them in.
I also made a deliberate effort to spend time with Lily – just the two of us – so we can simply “be” together. Now instead of trips to the museums and classical concerts, we go for walks in the park and hot chocolates.
The Difficult Journey Back
Unfortunately, over the years, an inner critic had grown up inside Lily’s head that kept telling her she was not good enough. I realized I needed to take quite deliberate steps to address that if she was to be happy with herself again.
To help her recognize and dismiss the voice that was bringing her down, I took her to see a Neuro-Linguistic Programming coach who teaches children strategies to untangle the persistent negative thoughts that undermine their self-belief – and replace them with positive ones.
Before we began, Jenny explained that Lily’s issues are not uncommon. As a teacher of 30 years experience, Jenny believes the growing pressure on children to perform from an early age is contributing to a general rise in learning anxiety. The youngest child she has helped was six.
It’s children like Lily, who don’t relish a contest, who are among the biggest casualties.
At home, some have been made to feel they are not good enough by parents or are intimidated by more academic sisters and brothers. Some may develop an inferiority complex simply because they are born into high-achieving families.
Once established, failure can also become self-reinforcing. Even when they get good marks, children like Lily still dwell on the pupil who got the higher one to support their negative views of their abilities, making it a self-perpetuating downward spiral.
It’s when children start to see this self-criticism as fact that the negative self-talk can start.
As she sat on the sofa, Jenny asked Lily if she had ever heard a nagging voice in her head that put her down. Lily looked surprised but answered that yes, she had. Asked who it was, my daughter replied: “It’s me, but the mean me.”
Asked to draw this character, Lily depicted an angry, disapproving female figure with her hands on her hips, with a mouth spouting the words “blah, blah, blah.” When asked to name her, Lily thought for a moment before coming up with the name Miss Trunch-Lily, so-called because the figure is half herself – and half the hectoring teacher from Roald Dahl’s Matilda.
Now Miss Trunch-Lily had been nailed, Jenny and Lily agreed an easy way to deal with her would be to talk back and tell her “Shut up, you idiot” one hundred times.
But that would take a long time, so Lily and Jenny came up with a quicker solution; imagining a canon which would instantly send a shower of 60 candies into her mouth so she couldn’t say another word.
Next time Lily heard her nagging voice, all she had to do was press an imaginary button and her nemesis would be silenced.
In the months that followed, Lily seemed to relax. Gradually the procrastination about homework started to vanish – and Lily was much more likely to open her books after school and quietly get on with her homework.
A Fresh New Start
We have recently come back from a week in a seaside cottage with no Internet or phone signal. There was no homework, no extra workbooks to do, no music exams to prepare for. Nor did we use our vacation as a catch-up period to prepare the girls to get ahead.
Instead my husband, my daughters and I went on long walks with our dog. We examined different types of seaweed and examined crabs in rock pools.
Back in the cottage, we sat around and read books that interested us. I let the children play upstairs for hours, not on their phones, but in long elaborate role-plays, without feeling the need to interrupt once.
I would wager that Lily and Clio learnt more about themselves – and what they are capable of – in a single week than in a whole semester at their schools where they hardly get a moment to stop and think.
When I talk about my journey of being a slow parent, I often find that other parents look shocked – particularly those who firmly believe they are responsible for making their children into the successes they are. So, I shared my journey in the book Taming the Tiger Parent: How to put your child’s well-being first in a competitive world.
Of course, for the child born with a go-getting personality, teaming up with turbo-charged parents can be a winning combination – to start with at least.
But as adults, we have to start asking – how high we can raise the bar before it’s too high for our children to jump?
After all, a bigger picture is also emerging: a rise in anxiety disorders, depression and self-harm among children who have grown up with this continual pressure – and the emergence of a generation who believe they are losers if they fail, they’ve never done enough if they win.
Even among children who succeed in this environment, educationalists are finding pushy parenting creates a drive towards perfectionism which can turn into self-criticism when these young people can’t live up to such high standards.
I’m happy that in the midst of this arms race to push our kids more and more, there are changes afoot. Around the world, parents and educators are drawing up a blue-print for an alternative.
Whether it’s slow parenting, minimalist parenting, free-range parenting – or the more bluntly named Calm the F*** Down parenting, there is recognition that we need to resist the impulse to constantly push and micro-manage.
As a mother to Lily, as well as my younger daughter, Clio, I’ve decided I don’t want to be a part of all those crushing burdens of expectations. I want to provide a relief from it.
Apart from the fact it makes children happier, it’s also so much more fun.
Now I love the fact that when Lily messes around in the kitchen making cupcakes, I no longer have to fight the urge to tell her to hurry up – and badger her to finish her homework.
Of course, not doing homework is not an option – but these days in our house the aim is to do it as quickly and efficiently as possible. If a concept is not understood, I don’t pull my hair out trying to be the teacher and trying to play ‘catch-up’. If Lily, now 12, genuinely does not understand it, I write a note to the member of the staff to explain that it may need further explanation. It’s a simple system and is working perfectly fine for us.
I like it that when she comes home from school, and I ask her, ‘How are you?’ I really mean it. It’s no longer code for: ‘What marks did you get today, darling?’ and I’m not thinking ‘Hurry up with your answer, so we can get on with your homework.’
Most of all I love the fact that I can finally appreciate Lily for the person she is now– a 12-year-old girl with an acerbic sense of humor who likes Snoopy, play-dates and kittens – and not for the person I once wanted her to be.
The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents
For our quick contemplation questions today –
- Imagine meeting your child in 20 years times. Ask them to describe their childhood. Do they describe it as magical? Or do they look back on it as a race from one after school activity and homework project to the next?
- Ask yourself what do you want for your children? When you say you want your children to be happy, what has that come to mean to you? If you really analyze it, has it drifted into being interpreted as professional success and financial acumen? Furthermore, have you come to judge success by a very narrow definition of traditional career achievement and earning power?
- Now check again. If you look around you, what do the happiest people you know have in common? Is it material goods, high-flying jobs and academic qualifications? Or is it emotional balance? If you approach the question another way, are the wealthiest people you know also the most satisfied with life?
The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents
Spend some time sorting through any conflicts related to your kids not doing homework.
To start with, train your children in good habits and place time limits on how long homework should take from the start.
Ask the school how long a child should spend on each subject at night. Then you can help keep those limits in place by telling kids they can’t spend a minute more – or a minute less – than the allotted time.
Find the time of the day after school that works best for your child – either straight after arriving home or after a short break. Agree a start time every day so that the rule turns into a routine and there is less room for resistance and negotiation.
Don’t finish their homework for kids because you are desperate to get it off the evening’s to-do list. That will just mask the problem and get you dragged into a nightly conflict. Help them instead to take responsibility for their homework, while you provide guidance from the sidelines on an on-need basis.
So we have five days of school for 36 weeks, which makes a good 180 days. Take 13 years of education, including Kindergarten, which is a good 2340 days of hell (Well, that seems less than I thought). For me, Second Grade was the worst. I went to school, had a large pack of homework, while my siblings and their friends had NO HOMEWORK AT ALL! If that wasn't bad enough, I had to go to THERAPY because I had problems pronouncing certain letter sounds. I didn't get home until 5, and while my siblings and friends spent all evening having fun, I had to do crap all night, and not have ANY FUN, because by the time I was done, they were getting ready to go to bed.
I still get a load of homework from some teachers, especially in English, where I have to do like 150 pages a DAY! and it was all due the next day, I had to spend a long time on that. Then if you didn't go on a field trip, they would give you 250 pages, and make you write stuff 500 times, then do 50 crosswords. I think 7 hours ...more
I mean, we work at school, that's enough! In England, this is how we go:
Day Care (1 year) 2-3 yr olds
Nursery (1 year) 3-4 yr olds
Reception (1 year) 4-5 yr olds
Year 1 (1 year) 5-6 yr olds
Year 2 (1 year) 6-7 yr olds
Year 3 (1 year) 7-8 yr olds
Year 4 (1 year) 8-9 yr olds
Year 5 (1 year) 9-10 yr olds
Year 6 (1 year) 10-11 yr olds
Year 7 (1 year) 11-12 yr olds
Year 8 (1 year) 12-13 yr olds
Year 9 (1 year) 13-14 yr olds
Year 10 (1 year) 14-15 yr olds
Year 11 (1 year) 15-16 yr olds
Year 12 (1 year) 16-17 yr olds
Year 13 (1 year) 17-18 yr olds
Uni/College (3 years usually) 18-19+
So we pretty much get like how many years? 18 years or something? Plus, we also do exams, and tests in school.
'Ok, go to school now dear.'
'K, see ya later.'
'Have you remembered your homework for today? '
'Er...well...we had homework? '
'That's 5 times in a row! '
Later in school
'Ok, now time to see who has brought ...more
Uhh... Zz...Z... Zzz... WAKE UP! HAVE YOU FINISHED YOUR HOMEWORK!? That's me and homework. the same is with many other kids. it's so boring! There is no creativity, which makes it so dull, it is so easy that it is tedious, or so hard that it is... Um... well, also tedious. and it doesn't do ANYONE any good. like, all it does is stresses kids, parents and teachers out, couldn't the homework be " Get enough sleep and be relaxed so you can have a happy childhood and no arguments with your parents"?! And that sentence in quotation marks (" Get enough sleep and be relaxed so you can have a happy childhood and no arguments with your parents") is THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF HOMEWORK!
I say no to home worke! fone3145320617V 165 Comments
The amount of stress that homework is causing on us kids is ridiculous! We get sick and miserable because we are so stressed out! The stress damages the amount of sleep we get. I am sure that, though it may seem unpleasant and harsh, that the amount of stress caused by homework will lead to suicide
The teachers just pile it on top of us, not realizing that we have lives outside of school and need time to relax!
I'm always worried about big homework assignments that I didn't complete it I forget a assignment because my parents give me so much about it and then on top of that the teachers embarrass you about how your homework is not complete and the reason for why its not complete and my ANSWER IS I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THEN DO MOTE SCHOOL AFTER SCHOOL!
I bet 10-40% of children suicides occur because they were in the middle of having their 6 hour homework periodV 102 Comments
I am sooo tired from all the homework. I am so sleep deprived that I literally doze off during class! I really want to get good grades so I study a lot and of course... Less sleep. Does good grades mean walking zombie? Think about it, we go to school for 7 hours. Come home do 4-5 hours of homework and to top is off (for me and probably many others) extra-curricular activities 4 times a week. I haven't been to the cafeteria for lunch AT ALL this year because I stay with a teacher and you know it! Do homework due the next day! I also stay after school to do homework with teachers and I fell this. WAKE UP, SCHOOL, GO HOME, HOMEWORK, EAT, SLEEP, REPEAT. I'm lucky if I sleep 6 hours a night so technically I'm working 18 hours in the day STRAIGHT. How many grown ups do that? And, the teachers have it so much easier, they're not the ones staying up all night doing homework, they carelessly assigned. I mean seriously most of the homework I do can be done DURING CLASS. So much for doctor's ...more
Is 5-2 hours sleep healthy for the average kid? I don't think so. kids around primary school age should get at least 10 hours sleep, maximum 12. older kids should get at least 8 hours sleep. my average amount of sleep? 5. this is exactly half my minimum amount. and some kids only get 2 hours sleep. that's half of Margaret Thatcher's average amount of sleep! And I wonder why all of this lack of sleep is occurring? Well, drumroll please... SURPRISE! IT'S MORE RIDICULOUS HOMEWORK! Most of us end up staying up at 10pm-1am finishing up homework. and i, I finish my homework at 11pm, but I only fall asleep at 2am because I am so stressed out thinking about homework I still haven't finished, future amounts of homework and the many arguments I have had because of it!
I came to school one day, beyond tired. All because of homework. Then when the teacher starts yelling at me for being "dosed off" I know it was the school's fault. The teacher thinks I was playing video games all night, but no it was all homework, and I can't do anything about it. The worst part is that the school expects you to be on time so I have to wake up at 6:00-6:45. The teachers said themselves that a kid should get 10-12 hours pf sleep. They ONLY give us 4-7 hours of sleep, and then they complain about it.
I agreeV 54 Comments
Oh... it makes me and many others want to cry! Where have the carefree, blissful days without homework gone? Why did they have to give us this homework which means that we can no longer have a good time, invite friends over, play games, whatever you do for fun? Play is actually a way of learning, and it has to be a LOT more educational than homework, if we learned so much even before we went to school, how to walk, the whole human language, and we could learn a lot more if we had the time to just play!
I go to school for 7 hours each day and then when I get home there's about 4-5 hours of homework. I'm in year 8 in Australia, and our school suggests we should get 6-7 hours of revision and homework per week, but in reality it's more like per night. We have no spare time to play with our friends or pets, or even spend time with our family. I thought when we were kids we were supposed to be happy, and have FREEDOM and time to PLAY and have FUN! When will the teachers understand that we don't have enough to time to do what we want to do. And they say that they don't have much time because they are always correcting our homework but that's not true because our homework is corrected by us DURING CLASS WHEN WE SHOULD BE DOING THE LEARNING!
It wastes our free time, please please please didn't give us homework
I think your right... we should have fun like playing games and not doing homework. school supposed to be fun not boring.V 84 Comments
Oh my gosh! We already spend 7 to 8 hours at school, and so we have very little time at home to spend with our family, but all of that time is spent doing homework, even on weekends we only do homework. anyway, back to the point. we are tired after school and want to calm down and relax, but we have homework to do! It's so unfair! We may as well live at school!
Yeah you just spend most of the day at school and now they shove some more stuff at you.
We just spend a crap ton of time at school which is 30 hours a week of school and homework is enough it makes me fed-up like I just want to do something and Because of homework it's WASTED and also my Principal said he Hated homework too when he was a kid but he had to make us do it because he will lose his job if he doesn't let us do homework
What's the point of it when we have just spent hours at school learning and once we get to the weekends all we do is homework (well I have to).V 50 Comments
Homework teaches nothing to the advanced kids, not even revision.
Me and my dad always fight when he helps me with my homework and it kills you as a family after homework I set in my room so I don't see dad yelling at everything it tears your family apart!
It doesn't help its hard to do it if your absent and you don't now how to doit
I like pears I fell down the stairs I don't like when number 1 shares har har harV 12 Comments
You do all of the work to finish a homework assignment and then there's that one student at school who doesn't do there homework at home, copy yours, and then they get a better mark on it and it is just so frustrating.
, that happened to me last year, EVERY MONTH at least. Spending 5 hours of homework everyday, then at least 3 people copies it on you the next day and they get a better mark than you in exams. So frustrating! - MaxPap
Some people always ask me to show them my homework for them to copy... What should I say? I wanna be a nice person, but...
Sometimes, when a lazy bum asks you to give them your homework so that they could copy it, they erase your name and put their name instead. That's so stupid!
As a wannabe nerd and geek, this is the only relevant topic. - SoaPuffballV 19 Comments
When we do homework, all we do is sit on our bums writing on a piece of paper! We aren't able to get out, stretch our legs, run around or play sports ( I am not very sporty, but I know must other kids are, my form of exercise is running or wading around the creek in knee high wellies). this is the reason that so many kids are unfit! And all this homework leaves little time to eat. meals are brisk, no time for second helpings when we have small bowls, we have to get on with our mountain of homework. the stress caused by homework also makes us lose most of our appetites anyway, I am so stressed out that I am put off my breakfast in the morning, I eat very little (that's really saying something, my appetite was once enormously ravenous), and I know that this is the same for many other kids, whether t's breakfast, dinner, tea or snack.
I sit on a chair for hours, not doing anything and I see my dog next to me telling me to play with him but I just don't have the time when I have no homework I go play with him for hours and I get some fresh air and exercise, then when you sit doing homework your parents call you lazy
I try to get exercise at home every night but every night I have homework that prevents that. Yes I get exercise at school, But that's scheduled and forced upon us. Which makes everybody that has P.E. hate it because it's forced on us. And they force us to keep going and don't let us stop when we need to. In fact there was a kid that goes to my school that had a substitute teacher that made then run the whole hour for no reason at all, He had a SEIZURE! He had no history of seizures and no health problems what so ever. When you exercise on your own time then you can stop when you need to.
true.V 19 Comments
Lack of sleep, added to not eating enough food makes us kids grouchy, and so when a parent comes along and they don't understand the homework system, the kid gets easily frustrated, thus a fiery and furious argument erupts. from experience, I know how bad these arguments are, they almost always end in tears. This arguments happen almost every night for most of us. all of this is DEFINITELY NOT at all good for both our parents' and our own mental health. I also have a very big feeling that they also are playing a major negative part in fractured families.
I can not tell you how many times I have had insane arguments with my parents over a homework assignment. It has come to the point where I leave my house and don't come back for hours, usually around midnight to one in the morning. My family has become very unhealthy and arguments seem to happen hourly. I have some pretty bad anxiety, and all this arguing over something like homework just makes me hate life and my family. It may seem kind of stupid for me to say this, but homework is tearing my family apart.
For certain, this is #1. All of the other ones are true, but this is by far #1 in my opinion. I have firsthand experience with these fights, mostly to do homework. There is one comment saying "...that they also are playing a major negative part in fractured families." Due to various fights about homework in the past, my family has had to fall the POLICE and at one point I was forced to move with my other parent (my parents are divorced).
You probably thinking I'm joking but this is 100 % true, I get over 5 hours of homework PER DAY. It's depressing and I never get to sleep or eat dinner.V 18 Comments
I wrote the freedoms one too. And I have more to say about it. More about the dress codes. It basically means that they get to be judges who think they can criticize what we and our parents spend hard earned money on! It's ridiculous and unfair. I'm in seventh grade (supposed to be in 8th but I was held back last year). What makes them think they can take away the freedoms we've had for 222 years. The freedom of speech. Plus when someone bullies another person. And they finally make us snap. Or they beat us up the. We defend ourselves we get in trouble for basically not getting hurt. Plus my friend recently got sent to jail for 4 days for violating his probation from getting in a fight. And he said that being in jail is better than school. He said that the food is way better. And that he enjoyed being there more than he enjoyed being at school. And when he told me about it it literally sounded appealing compared to school. Homework and school must STOP! I understand that school is ...more
The teachers and principals and basically all school authority try to force homework on us and we can't do anything about it without getting in trouble for it. This country was founded on freedom and school takes about 90% of those freedoms away, For example, Dress codes which isn't fair because it practically gives teachers the right to criticize our clothes, Forced homework which we don't get a say in which isn't fair in any way, They take away out freedom of speech in many ways, school and homework is ruining this generation and homework must come to an end. And an interesting fact about homework, Did you know that homework was invented in Italy by a teacher as a form of punishment for his students. So we're being punished for no logical reason.
This is the most maddening part... all these reasons and we are like a piece of dust trying to battle an elephant! But hopefully soon our voices will be heard, and then we will have freedom!
Us kids need to be treated the same as adults...we have human rights too!V 36 Comments
I'm in eighth grade and I have a brother who is in sixth grade, and I am "learning" the same EXACT stuff he's learning! The homework is exactly what we "learned" in school. I'm one of the smarter people in my school (That's being humble), and I've always wondered why, and now I realize it's because while the teachers are repeating exactly what we learned last year I'm reading ahead in my textbook because I already know everything they are saying. It's so boring I read the textbook for enjoyment. Our school then doesn't give us new homework, they give us stuff we already know.
Now that my rant is over, my point is the school should do something for the more advanced kids and not keep the pace of learning at that of a retard's. ( By advanced I mean people who remember stuff more easily. )
Homework is always the same: either (for people in my school and many other schools) endless uncreative worksheets of things we learnt years ago that we find ridiculously easy and don't teach us one tiny little thing, or so extremely hard that we don't even know what to do, don't complete it and don't learn anything. oh come on schools, you can do better than this one lousy attempt to stick a thing or two into our heads! Have interesting topics, interesting lessons, interesting teachers, and NO MORE HOMEWORK!
Homework is just another way for teachers to mark our grades down that we work hard for. The whole time kids like me and every kid I know are imagining themselves having fun. But while those students are wishing they could be having fun with their friends and family, we're working our brains harder than we should and that causes our brains to get overwhelmed and crack under pressure, That causing our grades to go down. I have experienced this myself. In fact I recently got held back and I went looking through my grades and noticed that homework pages were the ones with the worst grades.
I will just flat out say it, The only thing I’ve ever learned from homework is how to procrastinate, pull all-nighters and how dumb the education system is...V 25 Comments
Kids need time to be kids, not be bombarded by work
If I'm gonna be an author when I'm older, I don't WANT to be writing every day after school. I'll do that when I'm older and have no interest in Hatsune Miku. Well, that'll never happen, but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
I once got homework to build a Greek temple in Minecraft. Those days are over, now I don't go to bed until 1 am. I can't have time to even upload a YouTube video anymore. On weekends I can't even Skype my friends.
ANOTHER Minecraft comment? This isn't the second one I've seen today...wow it is overrated! (No hate to your opinion) - DCfnaf
Homework is the worst thing that happened to the worldV 13 Comments
Over breaks I get loads of homework from all my teachers, so on the last day before one break I got extremely excited when my bio teacher, who is usually really hard on us, said, "I think breaks are a time meant for spending time with family."
Over half my homework over that break was bio work. I was putting in literally hours everyday, and I even had a few projects on top of that. My family members kept telling me I was being rude, and that I should spend time with them, but I couldn't.
Also, in the winter (when the sport I play is) I have practice for two to four hours a night, on top of a minimum of two hours of homework. So when I get home from school at 15:00, I go straight to practice until around 18:00, drive home, take a half-hour break to relax, and eat dinner, and that takes me until 20:00. Then I do my two hours of homework, 22:00. Then I work out, 22:30. And I love to read and write, but I only get about a half hour every day to do so, because if I fall asleep ...more
Everyone has lives to live, why do teachers steal your time with homework, its like homework is a teachers weapon to use against the kids.
I'm a guitar player, and I have no time to practice on week nights, because of all the stupid homework that I get. I have severe ADHD, and guitar helps me focus and get things off my mind. I sometime practice for 3-5 at a time (if I have it), and it really helps. I have 2+ hours of homework nightly, and I'm in 8th grade! Are you kidding me? I can barely focus on my guitar, let alone something that makes me want to burn something to the ground. Homework makes me depressed, stressed, and it pisses me off to high heaven.
I once had to stay home and do homework (I can’t remember what it was specifically, just some useless math and English.) instead of going out to dinner with my parents and a friend whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. I was so distraught. - railfan99V 21 Comments
If you didn't do this homework the teacher would phone mum and do you know what my mum used to do? She used to ground me, yeah, I used to get grounded because of that teacher.
Our parents are lied to by the teachers. They are tricked into believing that homework is good for us when it's the opposite. They don't know that it affects our sleep and health. I speak for the kids of America.
My parents used to actually give me MORE homework. Thanks for making me stupid, mom.
! Once I got in trouble for no reason for forgetting my homework at school the the teacher contacted my parents and at home I got punished DOUBLE GROUNDMENT! :(V 8 Comments
Homework often makes me want to commit suicide, truth be told. And I'm in 6th Grade! It's been making me feel like this since 4th, I still have a lot of school and homework in front of me, and it makes me feel like no matter what, I'll always be held down by this.
Sometimes I wonder what life is when I start getting upset over not doing homework then I try to reach for a knife and kill myself
This should be in the top ten. I agree
Its rig it is like tourter it make kid life hard plss tutor will give extra homework so we must BAN HOMEWORK! it make me want to swearV 12 Comments
This one time I second grade I got a note to my original teacher for not catching up fast enough on a project and when they explained a step it was only five seconds and when she gave me the not she tried to guilt me and say I was slacking off and I said she was going too fast and she said no excuses I hate how teacher are jerks sometimes
I hate homework, and teachers shaming students are mean, lifeless losers. I mean, they're kids! So why give pressure? What are you? A war maker?
I have asked most of my teachers before "Why do we have homework in the first place" and I have never in my life ever gotten the full explanation I expect from an adult. They always see "Because you do" and "You need it" This isn't fair. If we want to know why we have homework then we at least deserve a full and logical explanation expected from KIDS that we can't even get from a teacher.
It's too hardV 18 Comments
So true if its only practice why is it 8 hours MINIMUM
It takes like 2 hours a day! I almost have no time to do sport! I need to skip some swimming training because otherwise, I’ll go to bed at midnight!
Math teacher : This year you'll have 30mins of homework each class, that's nice to have such a little time, isn't it?
Me : I'm slow in my work...
So guess what...
Every day my math homework takes at least 2 hours to complete, and most of the time it takes 3 and a half hours! So annoying! - MaxPap
FAT THAT IS WOBBLY
Why should we have homework it's to hard it takes our fun too
My 7th grade social studies teacher rarely give us homework
I woog love my teachers if they DID NOT GIVE US HOMEWORK
Well...i mean why do teachers do this to us because we do not want to do the homework! <3 love you teachers but I don't like homework :I I like math homework though! so yea <3 love you GUYSS #love teachers
All these long hours spent correcting and doing homework could be spent ACTUALLY LEARNING (see more in reason 8), as well as relaxing and being happy! The fact that homework isn't teaching us anything means that all the time we spend doing homework may as well be spent walking in circles with our fingers in our ears screaming "CHEESE, CHEESE CHESE! "! And even doing that may be more productive, because it'll make us laugh, which is good for our mental health! We could use the time spent correcting homework in the classroom for a new and interesting topic, maybe even something optional for each student! If kids who aren't even in secondary school can find better ways to spend learning time, then the adults can open up their ears and eyes and realise the nonsense that is going on and make a difference!
I learn more from top ten lists than from homework, and that's no lie. There are top ten lists ten lists about thing school lied to us about, so are we even learning the truth?
I don't like it at all and you do all of this work and it's not even like you love it so you spend all this very hard work for nothing.
Roberto nevillis sucks I want to kill him ( if he wasent already dead)
he was the dude that created homeworks
Every single teacher is saying 'do this homework, do that homework and memorise it' when they literally just made us learn it off by heart! 0-0 for example, in maths we learn about angles. Everyone in my class learnt it, memorized it and wouldn't forget it. 3 minutes later...
"Here is your homework. This assignment is on angles."
Sometimes I wonder if there doing it for a joke.
School itself is a waste of time - ikerevievs
Just like one of the other comments, I stare at my piece of paper until I'm yelled at.
Actually that kind of exaggeration. I stare at it for half an hour until I actually bother to look something up.
agreeV 15 Comments
I came home from school every day, with fear. I wish I could be like the people that get to run out the door happy, but no! I just experience more stress. I have NO time to do anything! I can't even THINK, when teachers think that that's the whole point of homework. I HATE IT. YOU HEAR THAT TEACHERS, I HATE IT!
True, ever since I got in 7th grade, I still am in 7th grade, it has been hell for me, my parents made me have tutoring and Sunday school which included HOMEWORK in it while at my school we HAVE loads of Homework too! I wanted to spend time with a couple of primary friends on one of the days this week, BUT NO I had to stay home and STUDY! And do all MY homework
It is just a copy of school at home charlotte
WHITCH MEANS YOU CAN TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS EITHER YOU WANTED TO PLAY ON YOUR IPAD OR PS4 BUT NO HOMEWORK TIME THIS SHOULD BE REMOVED STUDENTS WILL BE THE HAPPYIEST TIME IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVESV 4 Comments
Many teachers say they care about the environment yet they waste paper on worthless, pointless homework.
Yeah. When we run out of oxygen from the lack of trees, BLAME THE TEACHERS! - Kaboom
They say they're 'eco friendly" and they waste like, so much paper is wasted. Trees die. Then when we eventually run out of air, TEACHERS YOU HEAR THIS!? YOU'RE THE REASON WE DIED!
They say that using the iPad is bad for you. Solution? Less homework, online, done. More air for everyone elseV 9 Comments
We already learnt what we "need" in school, why do we have to do it again?
You can't see your family because you have to go to your second school at home
On weekends sometimes we have to leave parties early because my sister has homework
I'm in a band, so my schedule isn't always open. We can barely practice because our drummer got grounded because he had a D in math. On top of that, we play sports, go to parties, and play instruments, we don't have time for homework.
If ralutivis or freiandesare are over you have to do home work wile they play
I can agree. I hate it when teachers shout at me and always say things about us that are not even true! I also don't understand how shouting at us will make us want to do better. It just makes us scared so that we do it the next time.
Just because you don't do something doesn't make you lazy.
I actually think you SHOULD be punished for leaving your homework, since you'll be considered "lazy". But yeah. I'm so annoyed by this.
HOMEWORK SUCKSS!V 2 Comments
Kids need time to be themselves and not waste their little time doing silly home work sheets. Kids like to swim in the pool on really hot days, but if they have home work they will miss out on a once in a life time opportunity. " Teachers stop giving kids homework it's driving kids nuts.
I think the same as you who ever you are
It is a big big big big big waste of our lives
Corrrect, I hate homework especially when you get too much. Some students have a o stay up all night to complete their homework and than they are really tired at school.V 2 Comments
27Less time for leisure activities
Trust me, I care SO much about my grades, they call me the over-achieving, ultra competitive, winning obsessed on at school (which I regret to say is a great title for me), but if writing on a piece of paper for sadistic people who watch us while we slave doing homework means getting good grades then I want to go the government and stop this law. Why can't homework be a small portion of maths, or to not become a robot for these cruel people. I'm lucky my class teacher isn't like that. But our former head teacher was a good teacher, sometimes sadistic, but his son was an envious, home-wrecking weasel.
It's so stupid that something as little as homework has such a big impact on your grade.
If homework is only practice then why are we getting graded on it!
I think it does. I have learned a lot from homeworkV 4 Comments
Who needs to know the perimeter of a triangle? If you wanna do something with math like that in the future, fine. But very, VERY few careers kids would want need facts like this. When I'm older, I want to make animated movies and shows, along with books. I don't need to know about the perimeters of a square! What about self-defense? Or paying bills? Schools should teach us more of that.
In Math we're learning how to solve really difficult and too complex for our age. Recently I asked my dad if they even use this stuff and he says that he just has to solve that stuff. Not create equations ourselves. We're the most technologically advanced generation in history and by the time we're grown up we'll have things that do that stuff for us.
No one cares if Jim drove 19 miles to the store, then 5 miles to his friend's house. We get more technologically advanced every day. There's no point in learning this if we have the technology to do this stuff right now!
Yeah, who needs to learn word problems? No one cares if Jane jumped off a cliff and fell for 8 seconds. I wish my math teacher would do that.V 7 Comments
My BACKPACK is heavier than my brother. And my mom can't lift the thing. - Kaboom
How old is your brother?
DUDE, THAT IS INSANE!
Last year, I had no friends at school so I have to do all my homework by myself, which is normal, but if I don't understand something it will be left to not be solved at all! At least this year I can ask my friends things about homework thanks to Facebook. - MaxPap
You wait for what seems like forever to get OUT of the place, and then you have to write on a piece of paper for like 5 hours. AND when you get a week off, they give you even MORE HOMEWORK THAN USUAL! The call it fun, we call it murder.
Every day you get bored and just want to go home
It is so annoying
TRUE!V 1 Comment
Its giving out head aches and it giving me head aches to. Plus it's so stressful that you. Feel like killing your self and hurting something. It's seruis! I may not spell things right though, sorry. I'm 11 in grade 5 and I get the home work for the rest of the day! I hate! It's giving me stress and head aches! Parents! Stop teaming up with the teachers! Published on feburary 28 th 2016, 7:27
7:27 am sorry.
boyV 1 Comment
I believe revision is better than homework
They just train you on discipline and you can spam your homework if the teacher is not fierce. When you revise you can do your homework better
Revision. Repeating the same thing over and over. WHAT. THE. HELL.
This is torture. -AnonymousCommenter
Even though video games are bad for your brain, they are much more fun than Homework. did you know that to much homework can be bad for you?
Some people make a living out of video games, or gaming can be a very big hobby, which if the bad kids that smoke drink etc. Get into it can stop them doing all these things!
To be honest, this isn't a very good reason. BUT...Hang on. Video games are a form of science, aren't they?! Technology, physics, problem solving...that's like 3 subjects at once!
Yes, I have learned MUCH MORE on my computer and in games than in stupid FKIN homework
True. I used to play Minecraft (sad it became cancer now) and since French is my native language, I learned English more with video games such as Minecraft and movies, than actual school. At school, I almost didn't learn anything. - MaxPapV 11 Comments
I'm an environmentalist and I stand against deforestation. I don't think it's what's right for moving out planet in the right direction the world governments say they're heading toward. Yet they still cut living trees down and for extra paper we don't even need.
I like to call homework a waste of trees or something to make people loose sleep or the
Yup. Stop cutting the trees down! It's cruel to the trees and us. ;(
Super true. I already pay attention!V 8 Comments
Plus 802 hours of homework a week and teenagers need to work and I'm in a band so I have NO time.
8 hours is more than enough to learn things. Teachers need to see that most people don't do work because they don't have time or already know the lesson and have no need for extra work.
8 Hours Is Enough!Copy and paste on your profile
FALSE 6 HOURSV 1 Comment
True homework is a repeat of school aka pointless
WHY THE HECK DO I NEED TO RELEARN THE PAST 8 HOURS OF HELL I'VE BEEN THROUGH?!
Says the idiot that put this item here! Homework causes a lot of stress!
What idiot put this comment here?
Don't react to things like this. It's a troll entry. - DCfnaf
Don't drive into this stuffV 8 Comments
This means that nobody has the right to tell anyone what to do. There are a few exceptions (minors must go to school, those under 16 cannot operate motor vehicles, etc.) but you get the point. This technically makes it illegal to assign homework. Oh, did I mention that homework is technically slavery? - Kaboom
Giving us extra work in school is legal and justified. Taking away students time that can be used to be social or learn things should be 100% Illegal
We're supposed to have freedom of speech and justice. That slip off paper of webpage says otherwise. If they want to take away our freedom, lock us in jail.
noV 1 Comment
Back in April 2016, a Mexican 12 year old boy committed suicide over his homework assignments. Tragic. - drdevil
I hate doing homework. I'm in grade 4 and I don't get a lot of homework from my english school teacher but I go to an Arabic school and they give us so much homework I'm gonna have to do it juring the easter break when we visit our cousins. It makes me feel really mad. Hey people I' in grade 4 NOT college!
I totally agree!
Homework makes me worry about so many things... It became that half of my life is based on homeworks... (And the other half on video games :D) - MaxPap
If we are set homework and the due date is not far away, we worry about it in lessons! All we can concentrate on is our homework. And boom! Lesson over. >:(
If I had less homework, I'd have more time to advance my education independently and more specifically to my needs. I would be able to learn the material that I would actually use in my career. It's hard for me to learn about what I want to when I go home and spend more time doing homework than I do doing school work. Four ninety minute classes, each assign two hours of homework? Seriously?
For me getting homework feels like a dis. It feels like the teachers think we didn't learn anything in our lessons so they need to give us work to do at home so we can learn it. Children are smarter than you think!V 1 Comment
Most my teachers say they wouldn't give out homework if it was there choice,98% of parents are responsible for homework being given out
All kids do is work work work all day long for like 7 hours and then work longer and harder even though they've just learned all about whatever the subject is.
It doesn't it just gets More and more and annoys people
Yeah, but at least we have an easy homework day.
One page of it, then 2 pages, then 3, 4,5,6,7,8,9...i could go on.
1+1 to 1x1 to 34x45 to 23(78+8)+2. Its not fair! Age is not knowlege people! >:(
Teachers do this to make up mad and make our fingers num.
The teachers teach it the weird ways so parents can't help
Your teacher is the person who teaches you the lesson and they're not there to help you
You could ask your parents they probably have done the stuff - MrQuaz680
Yeah, but in our world the teachers want us to follow specific derections so a parents help is almost useless.